After consulting with comics guru SIMON DAOUDI, he informed me that the JOKER made his grand re-appearance this week (I don’t get out much!). So I thought it proper to make a card regarding this grandiose event! Have any of you guys n gals ever heard of BOOB GLUE (I’m sure the gals have)? I’m pretty sure that’s not the actual name of the product (yes I googled it, NSFW sites came up-go figure!), but I think you get the idea!
After making this card I got to thinking about all the COSMETICS superheroes must wear. I don’t necessarily mean the lipstick, blush, eyeliner etc… How does Catwoman keep her breasts from spilling out of her cat suit?
BOOB GLUE.
How does Power Girl keep her suit from riding up her bum?
BOOB GLUE.
How does Nightwing keep his mask from falling off?
BOOB GLUE.
How does Green Lantern keep his mask from falling off? Its part of his powers I think? So he’s good.
Now for you cats out there, who are die hard running enthusiasts, you might know what “Jogger’s Nipple” is. (Sheldon Lee, I’m looking at you buddy <3) Amigos n amigas, some people suffer from sore nipples. The constant rubbing of your nipples while wearing tight clothing and running n jumping around Gotham, can cause this condition. Superman might not have this problem (he doesn’t really run and his super invulnerability), but I’m damn sure Barry Allen suffers from it. How to combat it? Petroleum jelly is probably the cheapest, but I’m sure Bruce Wayne gets something way better and more high tech.You know how most superheroes have black masks? well imagine all that gunk they have to glob over their eyes to make them REALLY POP in the moonlight. Well we all know what happens when you put on a bunch of gunk on your face and your skin doesn’t breathe for 8 hours, BAD SKIN. ZITS. And again, I’m sure Bruce Wayne has some miracle treatment made of dolphin fetus’ and some rare herb from the jungles of Brazil. I can’t help but think that during their off time, most superheroes must be the ugliest, zombie-eyed looking people on the planet. PS– Thanks to the lovely Ms. Sarah DeLaine (of Image Comics, @SarahdeLaine) for helping me figure out what to talk to ya’ll about today <3 xoxox Gabo gabo@ComicImpact.com
